Posted in dilemma, growth, love, poetry, relationships

The His and Her Project

All he wants to do is love his queen,
But his love is becoming harder for her to see.

Obsessed with a past he cannot amend,
But not wanting to be vulnerable so he pretends.

To put on smile and continue to love her in His own way,
But she knows better and her mind begins to race.

His explosive nature to what he can’t control,
Makes it more challenging to play the role.

Of a lover, partner, and friend.
And he begins to wonder if her questions will ever end.

“Will she ever fully understand and trust my intentions?
Or will this too end like the many other contenders?”

She loves him dearly but fears his mind is too distracted.
He tries to explain why he needs her,
But the words are not coming out the way he expected.

Both are struggling to find a solution,
Not realizing that the answer is in their union.

Their love for another is currently blinded by their fears;
His of loving himself and hers of him letting her in.

This love has shown promise and can win,
But only if these two are willing to let faith in.

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Self-Conviction of the Innocent

Hands cuffed without a thorough investigation. As I walked into the room, tension filled the atmosphere. Innocence was what I was there to proclaim but for some reason I felt my fate had already been chosen for me. I had no chance here. All I could do was pray that God give me patience and strength. The judge and jury’s eyes were screaming guilty before I even got to make my plea. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? As I try to make my case, anger slowly builds in my heart. I was already caving and they knew it. Tears fell as words became harder to say. My thoughts and my mouth were not communicating for some reason. Yelling was all the prosecutor gave me, wanting me to admit to something I did not do. I refused to give in and let them wrongfully convict me. But that pain and frustration I felt inside wouldn’t go away. If I could just get away to collect my thoughts and calm down. Unfortunately, it was too late. I reacted out of instinct and self-destructed. Everything then became quiet. As I looked around, blank faces stared back at me, the jury lowered their heads in disappointment, and the judge looked at me like I just made his job easier. There was one smile in the room and it was staring me in the face. That is what they really wanted. The truth was never their motive. Breaking me was. They knew I did nothing wrong. I just wanted better for myself but they saw it as me thinking I was better than them. Misery just wanted some company and went out of their way to get it. What makes this situation even worse, is that the blood running through their veins was the same that was running through mine.

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Late Nights, Early Mornings

I can’t sleep because my overthinking has set in again. So many questions running through my head. Can’t even begin to process them all. My eyes want to close but my mind keeps writing these restless thoughts. So awake I shall be, writing until my fingers are exhausted and bruised. These late nights and early mornings are draining me mentally. God why am I such an over-thinker? It seems to be more of an unnecessary burden for me to have. What greatness could possibly come from this disturbance? I just want a night of mental peace and I long for those mornings where my mind is running stress free. I pray for that state of serenity. Lord take me under your wings and give me the strength I need to fight whatever it is that is keeping me from a peaceful sleep. Even if that disturbance is me!

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My Wandering Eyes

Eyes constantly moving left to right, right to left. I can easily see what is around me, yet blind to the crippling of my own two feet. As I look around, I start feeling as though all eyes are fixed on me, piercing through my skin, looking into my soul. Paranoia sets in; I am holding myself captive in my own mind. Trying to protect myself from what isn’t there. An illusionist hero. But soon paranoia turns into sickness. I now understand that this mental captivity I put myself in and this illusion I created is destroying me. I am my own disease…God I come to You for peace. Take this burden away from me before it consumes me any further. Cleanse my eyes and restore my mind. Help me to stay on your everlasting path of righteousness and redemption. I don’t want these wandering eyes to deceive me from this day forward…I must control these thoughts before it becomes very difficult for me to tell the difference between what I see and reality.