How does one be a keeper of a home still filled with the aftershock of it all?
Why is there utter stiffness in one’s reaction to witnessing the beginning of what could be the end?
Where does one turn to when they are drowning in the fear of escalation?
When can one process the essence of safety when their innocence of childhood is fading in front of them?
What possesses a person to illuminate that devil-like presence in front of others?
Who is to blame for that lack of anticipation?
The dryness of the air suffocating the words left in me
Mentally I thirst for Your Love and continue to faithfully pursue Thee
No amount of transgressions has shaken this feeling thus far or stirred me beyond recognition
However, physically, I am as stiff as a board just waiting for You to ground my feet
Just saying this out loud to You is embarrassing and I am ashamed of this hesitation
Asking are You there has not been the question for ages
Rather how can I be more like You remains a heavy destination
This assignment is still overwhelming and guidance may not always seem as transparent
The thought of staying in this place with falling leaves occupying the Spring was my poor attempt to not take on the physical responsibility anymore
Maybe the naive thought of continuing this journey with some ease (and potentially a little more time) is what I hoped for
…..
Please forgive me for this empty explanation and I know the excuses have been reached a dead end
Our conversations can initially appear so complex only to be resolved with a humble submission
Your grace is undeserving and no amount of words can ever fully articulate my appreciation
So now I say to You that I am ready to let go of the dead and allow these branches to start budding with Agape again
TheKiaraProject 