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It is not too often that I think about you, but when I do…

So empty they have been; The darkness is very unsettling. Your eyes appear like black holes; What is this unstable phenomenon?

On one hand, I am angry at what seemed to be inevitable without proper intervention. On the other, I want to protect even the smallest amount of innocence that may remain in you.

What is needed to try and recover the hope left in you? At times even I have hope. Yes, I have hope for you. How much would change if we further assessed what has led to this? Would you even feel safe enough to process this?

I did not know what to do and we were unfortunately never taught how to embrace with grace, protect each other or forgive like our peers. The guilt may continue to weigh on my heart for a little while longer as I think back to those adverse childhood experiences.

Those rebellions now seem more like they were cries for help more than attention and I wished I could have been more receptive to you. But I too was a lost child that longed to be seen. A helpless witness, why did fear seem to mute my screams?

How could I have been more of the keeper that you needed? How could I have known and done better even though processing my own pain felt like it was running on E?

I love you and I continue to pray that one day we will both find peace and heal from these memories.

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Pour

You can’t keep pouring into others when you don’t pour back into yourself.

Take care of YOU.

Our bodies, minds and spirit thirst for healing and replenishment.

Give back to YOU.

What good does it do to passionately expel so much energy into things that do not nourish you? Self care for YOU.

Self care for YOU.

Pride can mask insecurities and the fear of vulnerability. Do not allow it to disrupt the peace within you.

Make way for YOU.

Time is endless but your time is not so why waste it dismissing the need to let Him lead.

Let Him pour into YOU.

Life does not give out refunds. Give yourself grace, let go of the control, and allow faith to proceed.

It starts with YOU.