When we keep saying yes to others we in turn keep saying no to ourselves. No to our time, our desires, our growth, our self-care and our peace. Unfortunately, society has a funny way of making those who do not constantly say yes to their wants an enemy. You must give and give without question, but of course the reciprocal should not be expected. It has become okay to punish those who say no because it doesn’t fit one’s narrative or expectation of you. It has become okay to punish those who uphold their integrity.
The fact that many have come to this state of mind that either we agree with them or we are by default against them shows the true selfishness and entitlement that guides the hearts of those who lack awareness, accountability and authenticity. Understanding does not equate agreement. Disagreement does not equate anti-____. One should not sacrifice their dignity to protect someone else’s credibility, views or image. One can still love others and correct them. Catering to others expectations of you is not okay. Saying no; however, is okay. Setting boundaries is good and necessary. And if others cannot respect those boundaries then it is okay to let them go. Because whether they admit it or not, they are definitely setting boundaries with you.
And the sad part is that those who are quick to close the door on someone else immediately due to conflicting beliefs has actually just destroyed an opportunity to bridge a gap in understanding and tear down a wall that continues to divide us. This just exacerbates the issue and prolongs positive change. But hey, who am I but just one voice in this very big and chaotic world.
Tag: change
My Practice is My Passion
Dear KDP,
As another chapter in your life starts to unfold, and you begin this new journey as a fellow, it is important for you to continuously raise the bar for yourself. Life has its many obstacles but remain strong and keep your faith as your number one priority. Growing closer to God will always be your main goal and don’t let anyone steer you from that. However, there are additional goals that you need to set for these next two years:
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Don’t limit yourself- Every opportunity you had has provided you with quality skills that you have been able to capitalize on and get you to this point.
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Comfortability is boring- Challenge yourself daily with your tasks and projects but don’t fear failure for you only fail when you don’t try. Most people fear change but you understand that change is inevitable. So continue to embrace it and enjoy life while giving back to others.
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Connect- You have told yourself time and time again that one of the best attributes a person can have is the ability to develop a conversation. Use your unique way of communicating to help expand organizational networks in efforts to rebuild strong communities and break the many barriers to quality health for vulnerable populations.
- Chose to Lead- regardless of your status or position, being a leader to those who need you is your calling. But also know when to follow because not every situation requires you to be at the forefront.
You have always stood out from the norm and taken the road less traveled . Although these goals will test your passion, never forget the overall purpose of this fellowship opportunity and that is growth. Be humbled by the good and appreciate the bad for both made you whom you are today. Looking in your rearview is not an option. Now smile woman, you have lives to change and inspire. Your story doesn’t end with Chapter 24.
Love always,
You
Believer, Leader, Postcard collector 🙂
A Road Less Traveled
There was once a time where I felt like I couldn’t be myself. Like I was living a life through someone else’s lens. At times I would feel disgusted with myself for not using my voice. I hated the fact that I would not speak in fear of what others would think about me. The last thing I wanted to do was create a negative image in everyone’s head and disappoint anyone. Momma always said to protect your name and I guess I took it too close to heart because it resulted in others manipulating me and taking advantage of my quietness. That voice locked up in the back of my throat just wanting to get out but fear stood in the way. I remember how anytime I tried to stand up for myself, people would chastise me, so again I went into hiding. As I aged, I soon realized that my ability to stand outside of the crowd was not a mistake but a unique blessing. There was a time where my knowledge felt more like a tool for others and a burden to myself. Education was seen as an escape for me, not an advantage. I just felt as though we were all in the same boat but as I was rowing forward, they decided not to row at all out of comfort. Looking back, people used to only view me as someone who could get a degree. I found myself wondering how could someone who seemed so fragile throughout her upbringing survive in such a negative environment and cruel world we live in today? Fast forward to today, I look back at those memories not in anger, regret, or disappointment as I once did. I see them as building blocks to my growth. I am more than just a degree and have witnessed great changes in other’s lives around me by just being me. I have seen the great change in me. That is what makes me happy. That is what God has shown me! This isn’t a road traveled on by most but now I am starting to get a taste of why those who have don’t turn back.
Woman
Who is this woman I see?
Who is this woman that she has become?
I do not recognize this glow in her eyes,
Or this confidence that was once nowhere in site
Who is this woman I see?
Who is this woman staring at me?
Before there was this little girl trapped in the darkness of her past,
Trying to convince herself that the pain would somehow pass.
If she stayed distracted, she wouldn’t have to admit she was hurting.
Ironically, it only prolonged her suffering.
But that little girl no longer hides within the shadows.
She walks with elegance and hope; she is unrecognizable.
Who is this woman I see?
Why is this woman fighting for me?
Filled with love and compassion,
Being bound by her past sins is not an option.
While Satan desperately tried to destroy her every which way,
I was certain she would soon break,
But she continuously grabs hold to the One who has given her a reason to stay.
Who is this woman I see?
Why does this woman refuse to give up on me?
The swift movement of a blade she used to see as a way to numb the pain,
But her Savior has given her the strength to persevere through the heavy rain.
A woman thou art loosed from the chains of guilt, hopelessness, and fear.
Overcoming the secret desires that once drew her near,
To the depths of self-destruction and sorrow,
But now those doubts are no longer yesterday’s tomorrow.
She won’t be defeated, even by herself,
She longs to meet the King and will keep fighting until her last breath.
Who is this woman I see?
And why does this woman no longer look like me?
TheKiaraProject 