Tag: desire

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The Great Wall of Emotions

Posted on by KDP

These moments are becoming more common and even draining at times

At what point in the constant temptation to walk away from it all do you give in?

The wall you worked hard at building to separate the temptation has managed to form cracks… internally

Then again, maybe that is the problem.

The desire to avoid the temptation rather than addressing it is the cause of this…this feeling… this thinking.

It should not be one of my greatest concerns. Yet for some reason my cry is louder than it has been in a long time.

I know You can hear me and my words may not always be articulated with divine. But this unsettling feeling is being put in Your hands.

Loving more like You is the journey I hope to conquer. And I pray that this subtle feeling does not one day consume me.

Because I know Your Spirit can cling to mine with ease. If I just let my guard down and let You lead.

Hopefully my vision to see beyond the trees is not too out of focus. The temptation to wander off may come and go, but my desire to know You is without question.

These feelings are so bittersweet. One moment I am witnessing how Your Love illuminates the beauty and endless possibilities this life can bring.  And the next moment, I am witnessing the true meaning behind the Book of Ecclesiastes.

Selah.

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Just another day in the office

Posted on by KDP

Days like this cause my mind to wander. Strong smells of coffee, ego, disparity and judgment fill this space around me. The most interesting part is how the moment I start to feel distressed, I have this unbelievably desirous feeling. Not out of fear, doubt, or worry, but out of love. But then again maybe that’s it….I’m desirous of love. Desirous of knowing. Desirous of You! The enemy continues to send its goliaths my way, but all it does is cause my spirit to call out to You more. This resistance to darkness is getting stronger and it feels so good. Thank you Father for this strength!

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Engulfed in Flames

Posted on by KDP

Lust was the fuel, impulse was the match, and sin was the flames. As I stand in the middle of this roaring fire, my heart and mind are suffering from asphyxiation, yet my body is without injury. Temptation is what I want to pursue as my mind becomes more skewed. Physically I stand strong but emotionally I am wearing down. Temporary satisfaction is want my body yerns for. His love makes me long for more. So much time has passed since the last time we touched. Sinful thoughts run through my mind as my body becomes aroused with lust. The flames grow as I continue to ignite these emotions. Everything else around me is burning and ashes are filling the atmosphere. The only sounds I hear are the flames and a familiar voice crying aloud. Disobedience was never the motive I swear. I am setting my soul on fire by giving in to this temptation. Resisting those urges is my weakness but what is hurting me is not the guilt I feel for having these thoughts, but the fear of dragging you into this fire with me.