When we keep saying yes to others we in turn keep saying no to ourselves. No to our time, our desires, our growth, our self-care and our peace. Unfortunately, society has a funny way of making those who do not constantly say yes to their wants an enemy. You must give and give without question, but of course the reciprocal should not be expected. It has become okay to punish those who say no because it doesn’t fit one’s narrative or expectation of you. It has become okay to punish those who uphold their integrity.
The fact that many have come to this state of mind that either we agree with them or we are by default against them shows the true selfishness and entitlement that guides the hearts of those who lack awareness, accountability and authenticity. Understanding does not equate agreement. Disagreement does not equate anti-____. One should not sacrifice their dignity to protect someone else’s credibility, views or image. One can still love others and correct them. Catering to others expectations of you is not okay. Saying no; however, is okay. Setting boundaries is good and necessary. And if others cannot respect those boundaries then it is okay to let them go. Because whether they admit it or not, they are definitely setting boundaries with you.
And the sad part is that those who are quick to close the door on someone else immediately due to conflicting beliefs has actually just destroyed an opportunity to bridge a gap in understanding and tear down a wall that continues to divide us. This just exacerbates the issue and prolongs positive change. But hey, who am I but just one voice in this very big and chaotic world.
Tag: expectations
Unwanted Pressure
I am not a trophy that you can just display on a shelf. I am not your showcase and I don’t wish to be in the spotlight. I have no materialistic value contrary to how some may treat me. My life has more meaning than you opening your mouth and yelling to someone you know “Hey this is my _____. She goes to college and studying to be a doctor.” This is the token line I have heard for years and it gets so irritating because the main ones saying it are also the ones I never hear from unless they want something. The expectation to know everything is frustrating because I clearly do not or care to know everything. It would be great if people comprehended that. Yes I go to school and have gotten further than most in my family but can I PLEASE breathe for once. I also understand it can be a good feeling to have someone you know, love, or care about succeed. But I am human, I make mistakes; however, according to those around me that is not possible. If I mess up, then I mess it up for everyone because apparently I did not get the memo that I am living a life for other’s satisfaction. I only get acknowledged when I seem as if I can do no wrong and everything is going as planned. But the moment I trip or stumble, no one is there to catch me. Get off of me, everyone just get off of me! Do you not realize that you are the main cause for my mental instability? I feel as though I am a walking puppet and everyone is just tugging at my strings trying to benefit from my abilities. I would love to be able to live my life the way I feel is right. Stop telling me what I should do and how I should do it. Disappointment may occur along the process but don’t act as if I committed the ultimate sin. Feeling as though everyone around you is counting on you to make a change they seek is one of the heaviest loads I have to carry. How about instead of sitting back and watching my legs cave in from these expectations, get your selfish butt up and carry your own weight. I am not the key to your wanted glory.
TheKiaraProject 