Tag: faith

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Do You Trust Me?

Posted on by KDP

I can’t protect you but I can hold out my hand,
You may not always agree with me but I hope you at least understand.

Your strength is what many hope for,
You are no longer the guy I once knew before.

Past, pain, and patience are your daily battles,
It always seems as though you are going through never-ending trials.

Your mind toys with you even at your best,
While you try to make sense of these unnatural tests.

But whenever you begin to doubt or feel defeat, look to your left.
I don’t have many friends but for those few, I will give my all until there is nothing left.

Not for credit and not for me,
But because I know what it feels like to be mentally empty.

You must not give up on me now,
You are one of the reasons I am able to wear this smile.

It is time to take a chance again with Thee,
So I ask you….Do you trust me?

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Taming the Beast

Posted on by KDP

Alone in my room my mind begins to ponder. Staring into space trying to find some answers within the depth of my confusion. I am stressed, but I put on an award-winning poker face. I pray to God for peace. Peace from this chaos that is tearing my soul apart. Peace from this hesitate spirit within me that is too afraid to let go. This burden I put on myself is weighing me down. God asks me, “Why do you harbor so much pain my child? Why won’t you give it to me?” My only response is silence. I have no idea but for some reason I feel I am helping Him by not giving Him all this baggage. I am creating this beast inside convincing myself it is for protection, but in reality it is only draining life from my body. I want to give up but this little thing called faith keeps reminding me of the His love for me. I have never stumbled or fallen without Him being right beside me reaching out His hand. However, as I continue to lay there, my heart grows heavy because this path of faith can be difficult to stay on. As I close my eyes, my heart slows down but my stress remains high. Lord give me peace and save me from the one who stares back at me!

@thekiaraproject

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Woman

Posted on by KDP

Who is this woman I see?
Who is this woman that she has become?

I do not recognize this glow in her eyes,
Or this confidence that was once nowhere in site

Who is this woman I see?
Who is this woman staring at me?

Before there was this little girl trapped in the darkness of her past,
Trying to convince herself that the pain would somehow pass.

If she stayed distracted, she wouldn’t have to admit she was hurting.
Ironically, it only prolonged her suffering.

But that little girl no longer hides within the shadows.
She walks with elegance and hope; she is unrecognizable.

Who is this woman I see?
Why is this woman fighting for me?

Filled with love and compassion,
Being bound by her past sins is not an option.

While Satan desperately tried to destroy her every which way,
I was certain she would soon break,
But she continuously grabs hold to the One who has given her a reason to stay.

Who is this woman I see?
Why does this woman refuse to give up on me?

The swift movement of a blade she used to see as a way to numb the pain,
But her Savior has given her the strength to persevere through the heavy rain.

A woman thou art loosed from the chains of guilt, hopelessness, and fear.
Overcoming the secret desires that once drew her near,

To the depths of self-destruction and sorrow,
But now those doubts are no longer yesterday’s tomorrow.

She won’t be defeated, even by herself,
She longs to meet the King and will keep fighting until her last breath.

Who is this woman I see?
And why does this woman no longer look like me?

Posted in dilemma, growth, love, poetry, relationships

The His and Her Project

Posted on by KDP

All he wants to do is love his queen,
But his love is becoming harder for her to see.

Obsessed with a past he cannot amend,
But not wanting to be vulnerable so he pretends.

To put on smile and continue to love her in His own way,
But she knows better and her mind begins to race.

His explosive nature to what he can’t control,
Makes it more challenging to play the role.

Of a lover, partner, and friend.
And he begins to wonder if her questions will ever end.

“Will she ever fully understand and trust my intentions?
Or will this too end like the many other contenders?”

She loves him dearly but fears his mind is too distracted.
He tries to explain why he needs her,
But the words are not coming out the way he expected.

Both are struggling to find a solution,
Not realizing that the answer is in their union.

Their love for another is currently blinded by their fears;
His of loving himself and hers of him letting her in.

This love has shown promise and can win,
But only if these two are willing to let faith in.

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God Please Forgive Me

Posted on by KDP

I have failed you again God. Why do You continue to put up with me? This anger that I thought was gone for good, I have let back into my life. Why do I let these people get to me? Their negativity has become more intolerable and it is sad because they are my family. Sometimes I don’t even understand why I get so angry. My mind starts to think of the most hurtful things to say, but then I know I would be no better than they are, regardless if those things were true. Even if I keep these thoughts in my mind and never say them verbally, it is still sin and I am here to repent. I try to be more positive even in the mist of their drama but I feel as though I am failing more than succeeding. At times I don’t want to believe there is positivity in them underneath the surface. But again, I am judging them just like they judge me. Lord please help me to get rid of this anger. I don’t want to let their ways ruin the person You are creating me to be. I love this new relationship I am building with You and I don’t want to hinder it in any way. These generational demons end with ME! God, I give you my troubles because my faith knows that You will calm my storms. Your child is in need of healing and You are the only one I choose to call on.

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What is Your Silver Lining?

Posted on by KDP

Hello,

My name is Kiara LaSha` Diggins-Parker. I have a tendency to question everything around me. I fear that the moment I get attached, the overwhelming joy I feel would be short lived. I let my caring nature get the best of me sometimes and can become mentally unstable due to how I interpret others actions and words. I will over think those interpretations and allow that to make me feel worse than I should. I am very anal about organization and time management, which may not seem like a big deal, until you’ve had experiences where those small things caused a noticeable distance between your relationships with others. My patience is more that of a needle in a haystack. Generational demons continuously taunt me. I have hurt many with my words out of anger, frustration, and just plain ignorance. I have followed behind other followers. I have judged many while making excuses for myself. I have cheated people out of the opportunity of loving me and showing how much they care about me; all because I assume they will be just like the rest. I guess what I am trying to say is that…I got a lot going on with me and I am not proud of those things. But wait there is more. I have a tendency to put others before myself. I lack confidence in verbal communication and I am still insecure of my physical appearance. I can keep going but before I digress let me get to the point. If someone as confusing and broken as I, can find restitution and be still worth using in the eyes of God, then I am sure we all can find that peace in the mist of our storms. As simple as it may seem, if you are alive there is a reason for it. Every breath you take will not be in vain. There is always a brighter side to a situation, and there is always a bigger purpose behind our lives. So I ask, what is your silver lining?

P.S. Your silver lining is coming (if it hasn’t already) and it will be so awesome when it does! We are all amazing human-beings in our own way. Embrace and love the renewed you!

Love,

KDP

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Turning the Pages

Posted on by KDP

Unlike a book, newsletter, or article, these pages cannot turn back. Memories linger in the back of my mind while time continues to press forward. Turning the pages, not knowing what to expect on the other side, I begin to reminiscence about the many mistakes that I have been able to overcome. I have no regrets because everything in the past was a lesson in its own right. I understand now how any action has a consequence, whether good or bad. Words and how one speaks has more depth, power, and meaning than we realize. There is a difference between being in love with someone and just loving the company of someone; not wanting to be lonely. One wrong movement in the turning of these pages can have a dramatic effect on the outcome of the story. Just because I want certain people to be in my future, does not mean they were meant to be there and their time in my life has in fact run its course. Though I am not perfect, as a human being, a was not created to be.

I have stumbled and fallen so many times, opened the wrong doors, and strayed off the narrow path, but God has always given me the strength to prevail. It is very possible for an individual to be renewed and delivered no matter how dark of a past they had. I know God still has work to do with me so I plan to continue turning these pages until He has finished with me. Look out world, He has a plan for the woman you thought you knew. A new beginning is on the horizon, and its future is looking bright.

It is amazing how accepting God as your Lord and Savior can completely change your perspective on life. I begin to see a lot of things through a different type of lens. What looked green and rich, I can now see was brown and infertile, and vice versa of course. I used to be so cautious and doubtful about what those pages would bring, but now I can carry a smile and understand that everything will work out for the best regardless if it goes against what I wanted. However, I do realize that once those pages are turned, there is no going back.

Taking advantage of the opportunities I have been given is very important to me. Cherishing moments with people I love is an aspect of my life that I should appreciate more. I control my happiness and only I can take it from me. What I allow to hinder my progress is my fault and my fault only. I may hit some walls along the way, but that does not mean I have failed. Some battles just need a little more effort on my part. And on this wall, there is a rope near by and in order to beat this obstacle, I must climb it.

There are over 7 billion people in this world and endless opportunities. Each of us has a limited time on this soil. What is worse is that as we take each breath, we do not know if it will be our last. Life is giving you a gift and the gift is the events that take place between birth and death (The Untethered Soul, 133). So why waste this gift on focusing on what is already done and cannot be changed? A life of freedom and spiritual growth or a life where one feels like they are mentality, emotionally, and spiritually caged in; the choice is up to each of us. And always remember, as you turn your pages, there is someone of Higher order who is always reading them. Try to make those pages worth reading to the end.