lessons – TheKiaraProject

Reminder From 22 Year-Old Me…

Posted on February 5, 2024 by KDP

Turning the Pages

Unlike a book, newsletter, or article, these pages cannot turn back. Memories linger in the back of my mind while time continues to press forward. Turning the pages, not knowing what to expect on the other side, I begin to reminiscence about the many mistakes that I have been able to overcome. I have no regrets because everything in the past was a lesson in its own right. I understand now how any action has a consequence, whether good or bad. Words and how one speaks has more depth, power, and meaning than we realize. There is a difference between being in love with someone and just loving the company of someone; not wanting to be lonely. One wrong movement in the turning of these pages can have a dramatic effect on the outcome of the story. Just because I want certain people to be in my future, does not mean they were meant to be there and their time in my life has in fact run its course. Though I am not perfect, as a human being, I was not created to be.

I have stumbled and fallen so many times, opened the wrong doors, and strayed off the narrow path, but God has always given me the strength to prevail. It is very possible for an individual to be renewed and delivered no matter how dark of a past they had. I know God still has work to do with me so I plan to continue turning these pages until He has finished with me. Look out world, He has a plan for the woman you thought you knew. A new beginning is on the horizon, and its future is looking bright.

It is amazing how accepting God as your Lord and Savior can completely change your perspective on life. I begin to see a lot of things through a different type of lens. What looked green and rich, I can now see was brown and infertile, and vice versa of course. I used to be so cautious and doubtful about what those pages would bring, but now I can carry a smile and understand that everything will work out for the best regardless if it goes against what I wanted. However, I do realize that once those pages are turned, there is no going back.

Taking advantage of the opportunities I have been given is very important to me. Cherishing moments with people I love is an aspect of my life that I should appreciate more. I control my happiness and only I can take it from me. What I allow to hinder my progress is my fault and my fault only. I may hit some walls along the way, but that does not mean I have failed. Some battles just need a little more effort on my part. And on this wall, there is a rope near by and in order to beat this obstacle, I must climb it.

There are over 7 billion people in this world and endless opportunities. Each of us has a limited time on this soil. What is worse is that as we take each breath, we do not know if it will be our last. Life is giving you a gift and the gift is the events that take place between birth and death (The Untethered Soul, 133). So why waste this gift on focusing on what is already done and cannot be changed? A life of freedom and spiritual growth or a life where one feels like they are mentality, emotionally, and spiritually caged in; the choice is up to each of us. And always remember, as you turn your pages, there is someone of Higher order who is always reading them. Try to make those pages worth reading to the end.

Original post: Wednesday, February 18, 2015 (https://thekiaraproject.blogspot.com/2015/02/turning-pages.html)

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Posted on September 12, 2020September 12, 2020 by KDP

This new chapter in my life has had so many unexpected turns and challenges. However, there have also been many great lessons and answers I have received as well. It can take a mental toll on me at times, but I have come to a point in my life where I try to embrace the bad and remain grateful through the good. I have become more quiet because I needed to rediscover myself and understand my position in life. Although I enjoy helping and being there for others in need, I felt as if I forgot to include myself in that equation. The drive to naturally want to be there for others and reach out can become very overwhelming, and I can easily put myself in situations where I become too anxious or disappointed by my expectations of others and even myself. This has resulted in me doing a lot of writing, reflecting, and praying over the years.

I have let some into my world, but unfortunately have come to terms that “saving” what was once there isn’t necessary and walking away (loving from a distance) is best. I hate that I can let one thing, person, or situation have more power over my mind than all the good around it. I literally had to stop myself one day and give myself this girl you tripping look 😒 because so many of my prayers have been answered and needs met even when I didn’t deserve any of it. I have gained so many unexpected yet amazing friendships, fellowships (in Christ), and extended family members over these past several years, so losing a few is nothing and I have to be more grateful for that.

In my professional (and personal) life, mental health has become so important to me for many reasons. I have learned that growth, confidence, success, change and peace all begin with the same thing…your mindset. I chose my profession as an epidemiologist because it allowed me to see the bigger picture of the health burdens we face, be that voice for others, and reach people in need where they are. Although my primary research interest includes mental and behavioral health among youth and young adults with a focus in trauma or adverse childhood experiences, my love for my work goes beyond that. Psychosocial interventions such as spirituality and social relations play a key role in my efforts, but I have come to realize how crucial it is to improve how we actually approach the topic of mental health, especially in minority communities. Not just in our dialogues, but also in our actions.

We were not brought into this world to just think about ourselves and relying on another flawed individual for validation or acceptance is exhausting. I would challenge others to really think about what you bring to the table. How are you actually making a difference to those around you and those you serve in your profession and life? Are you really doing what is right or doing what is comfortable? Don’t be afraid to stray away from the flock. Comfortability doesn’t provide an opportunity for growth or wisdom. Comfortability is what limits us, weakens us, divides us.

Through the losses and achievements, I continue to move forward and try not to look in my rearview. These things are apart of who I am and serving others is what I do. The lessons I’ve learned have been invaluable and my love to be in the presence of God has grown immensely. Not everyone has or will appreciate my touch, but that’s okay because I continue to serve a higher purpose and not all will understand it. At the end of the day, I am a servant of God, a wife, and a mother (in that order). I have been enjoying this transformation and look forward to this woman staring back at me ❤.

Until next time….✌

Love,

KDP

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The Knot

Posted on May 27, 2019May 27, 2019 by KDP

Remember growing up we were always being yelled at to tie our shoes before we trip and fall. Remember how we would be quick to stop in our tracks and tie our shoes the moment we noticed the knot was loose. Because it has been drilled in our heads to avoid falling and hurting ourselves we immediately stop and focus on those laces. Remember how when we would get frustrated when they came untied so we did a double knot to make sure it didn’t happen again. You ever notice how we are still having that problem today.

We get so caught up in trying not to fall and keeping those shoes tied that we forget that sometimes we may need to trip or fall. Sometimes we need that cut on our knees. Without the mistake we wouldn’t really understand or appreciate the lesson. We won’t really know what it is like to be courageous or brave without first taking that risk. How can we be courageous in a safe zone?

We treat our lives as if they are laces. One loose string and we become unraveled. We are obsessed with not making a mistake that all that matters to us is if that knot is there. Our safe haven, pillar of life, has been objectified to that knot. We put our hope and faith for our future into the threads of those laces. We believe that we will go far as long as we keep that knot in place. Now it is not to say we couldn’t get anywhere far with thoses knots but imagine how far we would go if we put that much faith into God as we do that knot.

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Silly Me

Posted on December 13, 2018December 13, 2018 by KDP

I misspoke before when it was my purpose I thought I needed an answer to. It was my position in which I still seek understanding. We all have the same purpose which is to serve and glorify You and be disciples to Your children. But how we achieve that, is the only difference. I am not sure why I allowed that to get to me. Unfortunately, the ambition and patience were definitely conflicting with each other. Smh at myself but I’ll be alright. Learning is part of the journey…..Although I may not know exactly what position my Father wants to use me in, I will worry no longer and trust that it’s going to be dope (haha)!

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The Tortoise and the Hare

Posted on August 12, 2015September 11, 2016 by KDP

Sometimes I feel like God is the tortoise and I am the hare. I get completely lost in thought on what I want my next step to be and what He needs it to be. I run as fast as possible thinking the important thing is finishing first; and when I know I am physically able to do so, there is no changing my mind. I think I have things all figured out and planned, but somehow still manage to finish last. All of that running for what? Disappointment in the eyes of God? This cannot be right… As I think things over and actually put some thought into what happened, I realize I had it all wrong. He clearly wanted to show me something. What I thought was one of my greatest strengths is actually one of my greatest weaknesses. Seeking the easy route and racing to get things done has led me astray and even made my situation worse than before. And the worse part is that I know the best route is usually the hardest, yet I still allow my stubbornness and impatient ways to cloud my judgment and make decisions for me. I never understood why I rushed myself to get some things done. I want fast results but forget that time, persistence, and passion are required. God showed me that the fast track is not the answer and I need to slow down and take things one step at a time. Rushing a process or goal leads to many avoidable mistakes and regrets. When I go looking for a fast and easy change, more chaos is what I usually get. If I would have taken my time, I wouldn’t have passed the answer I needed early on in the race. I have learned in life that most accomplishments take time and do not just happen overnight, no matter how “fast” I am. The best results come from the quality of my effort. Small trots are more rewarding than giant leaps. If there is no patience and quality effort during my progress, then how could I ever expect to gain anything great from it? I should not feel bad if only small steps are being taken. I need to remember that it is progress, regardless of how far I got. I am closer to my goal than before and that is what matters. Relying on my own understanding will set me up for failure. Life is more enjoyable when you know you put in the effort to get where you are today and allow God to direct your steps. Everyone has their own pace and we all have different goals and destinations. So why determine my steps based on someone else? Plus learning the hard way sucks. Guess I will keep that in mind the next time I try to challenge the timing of God’s plan.

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