Tag: Lord

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Today

Posted on by KDP

I have come to accept that how I cope with the death of loved ones may not really change.

The way I acknowledge and accept it is an unfortunate expedited process.

I do not like it yet I cannot stand to prolong it.

Why dwell on the numbness? Why ponder on the what if’s?

It is. It was.

It does not bring them back and the tears have been spent.

However, the death of self has been painfully annoying to say the least.

Why do I fear this? This internally persistent uncertainty can be daunting.

No matter the truth, there remains an unsettling hesitation.

Lord, please forgive my doubt.

Yes, I know we have been through this.

Progress feels slow at times but I know this transparency is a part of that.

I am not deserving of Your grace.

Help me to calm my spirit and become more disciplined in this pursuit.

I am not sure what tomorrow may bring, but today I choose YOU!

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S.E.L.A.H.

Posted on by KDP

Sounds are amplified yet words cannot be formed

Emulating the devotion to truth, vision is overcome with sorrow

Likeability tormenting the hearts of reason

Abundance is the natural tendency to question the call

Heavy is the burden of moving against the conformation

Selah.

Salvaging what remains after death, caution begins to heal

Elevation of wonder for the path to revelations is narrow

Leveraging the insightfulness of disappointment and dismay

Absent is the strife that once formed this perspective of life

Hope is separating from the fragility of doubt

Selah.

Starving the deception that plagues the tongue

Enlighten the confusion, fear’s grasp plunges

Love with conviction as only faith can endure

Accountability to just self fades, the collective becomes focus

Heaven is the destination, discipline builds upon the foundation 

Selah.

Posted in growth, love, mental dilemma, perceptions, spiritual guidance

ContinUed…

Posted on by KDP

The dryness of the air suffocating the words left in me

Mentally I thirst for Your Love and continue to faithfully pursue Thee

No amount of transgressions has shaken this feeling thus far or stirred me beyond recognition

However, physically, I am as stiff as a board just waiting for You to ground my feet

Just saying this out loud to You is embarrassing and I am ashamed of this hesitation

Asking are You there has not been the question for ages

Rather how can I be more like You remains a heavy destination

This assignment is still overwhelming and guidance may not always seem as transparent

The thought of staying in this place with falling leaves occupying the Spring was my poor attempt to not take on the physical responsibility anymore

Maybe the naive thought of continuing this journey with some ease (and potentially a little more time) is what I hoped for

…..

Please forgive me for this empty explanation and I know the excuses have been reached a dead end

Our conversations can initially appear so complex only to be resolved with a humble submission

Your grace is undeserving and no amount of words can ever fully articulate my appreciation

So now I say to You that I am ready to let go of the dead and allow these branches to start budding with Agape again

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The Journey Home

Posted on by KDP

My two hands try to reach behind me as my feet continue to run forward. I want to take them with me, but I know I can’t because this is a journey that one must choose for themselves. As He continues to call my name, my heart cries out as I know it is time to let go. I don’t want to leave them but I have to. Then He shows me that the ones I hold closest to me are also the ones holding me back. Keeping me from truly grasping the grace and mercy of my Lord. Stuck in denial, my legs become heavy from trying to hold on. I slowly lose my grip and tears begin to fall. I can’t imagine doing this on my own. My Lord then speaks to me reminding me of the many times I felt broken but was still able to walk and the many knifes that stabbed me in the back yet I did not bleed. I hear the echoes of my name and I turn around one last time. “Please forgive me but it is time!” were my final words to them. The feeling of sorrow seeps through my veins just for a moment. I love them deeply but that love doesn’t compare to the love of the Most High and only through Him can my soul be delivered. Though this is a difficult decision, God has reassured me that my sacrifice will not be in vain. I start moving faster along this glory road now that my hands are free. The Kingdom is my destination. I may stumble a hundred times to get there but right next to me will be my Savior giving me His right hand and staying by my side as I take this not-so-alone journey. Through His love and mercy, my soul will be set free and one day I hope to hear the voice that says “Welcome home My child!”