Drowning in thought is such painful experience. At times I feel paralyzed in a negative state of mind. Just the thought of someone potentially lying, hurting, or deceiving me sends my mind into this dark abyss. I know this darkness is generational which is why I pray constantly for the Lord to take it from me. I want it to end with me. Another innocent soul shouldn’t have to live with this tainted blood of mine. Sometimes I get so trapped that I black out and feel as though my spirit has left me. I don’t know when I will ever be free from this. If only people knew the thoughts that haunt me. Tears fall but I don’t want or feel sympathy for myself. This mental and emotional madness is trying to corrupt me but my God, I know that You will save me!
Tag: lost
Reach
I reach for the light as my Father becomes more distant to my eyes. I scream yet no sound leaves my lips. Tears only add to the depth of this ocean I have created so no use in crying. My mind gradually sinks into the darkness while my heart beat begins to race with time. My lungs give way to the pressure as one standing memory flashes before me. But just when I thought He was getting tired of saving this lost soul, I hear a loud voice say, “My child, reach!”
STOP!
“STOP!”
Into the wild she goes,
Away from the place she once called home
Running around with no direction,
Lost without a connection.
“STOP!”
Breathing heavily into the atmosphere,
All she wants is to disappear.
Ahead she sees a lone wolf,
Its eyes are fixated on her every move.
“STOP!”
Where can she go, what must she do,
When the only security she had is now in her rearview?
“STOP!”
Her heart races in fear,
As the wolf begins to draw near.
It bites her ankle and she yells out in the dark sky,
As she fights, the wolf jumps on her and they are now eye to eye.
As tears begins to drop, the wolf open its mouth and to her surprise it yells…
“STOP!”
Shipwrecked
Can somebody explain to me what is going on!!? The tides were calm and steady. Our sails were flowing with the wind, pushing our ship along the waters. The sun was nice and bright. Everything was good and it seemed as though nothing could take this peace away from us. But then this raging storm just came out of nowhere. We were so blindsided by its force that I could not process what was even going on. All I knew was that the tides were no longer on our side. My state of mind immediately became uncontrollable. Our beautiful ship was being engulfed by the large body of water. Our world became dark.
Now we are here, alone, fighting to stay afloat. My heart and mind are in a race, still trying to understand how it took only seconds to change my life for the worse. I call out to God, searching for an explanation rather than a rescue. For some odd reason, I can accept what happened, but not understanding why is what is bothering me….The last thing I remember before the wreck was opening my mouth to have an honest conversation about someone, on another passing ship, who had caught his eye.
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