Drowning in thought is such painful experience. At times I feel paralyzed in a negative state of mind. Just the thought of someone potentially lying, hurting, or deceiving me sends my mind into this dark abyss. I know this darkness is generational which is why I pray constantly for the Lord to take it from me. I want it to end with me. Another innocent soul shouldn’t have to live with this tainted blood of mine. Sometimes I get so trapped that I black out and feel as though my spirit has left me. I don’t know when I will ever be free from this. If only people knew the thoughts that haunt me. Tears fall but I don’t want or feel sympathy for myself. This mental and emotional madness is trying to corrupt me but my God, I know that You will save me!
Tag: paranoia
My Wandering Eyes
Eyes constantly moving left to right, right to left. I can easily see what is around me, yet blind to the crippling of my own two feet. As I look around, I start feeling as though all eyes are fixed on me, piercing through my skin, looking into my soul. Paranoia sets in; I am holding myself captive in my own mind. Trying to protect myself from what isn’t there. An illusionist hero. But soon paranoia turns into sickness. I now understand that this mental captivity I put myself in and this illusion I created is destroying me. I am my own disease…God I come to You for peace. Take this burden away from me before it consumes me any further. Cleanse my eyes and restore my mind. Help me to stay on your everlasting path of righteousness and redemption. I don’t want these wandering eyes to deceive me from this day forward…I must control these thoughts before it becomes very difficult for me to tell the difference between what I see and reality.
TheKiaraProject 