How does one be a keeper of a home still filled with the aftershock of it all?
Why is there utter stiffness in one’s reaction to witnessing the beginning of what could be the end?
Where does one turn to when they are drowning in the fear of escalation?
When can one process the essence of safety when their innocence of childhood is fading in front of them?
What possesses a person to illuminate that devil-like presence in front of others?
Who is to blame for that lack of anticipation?
I have seen this occurrence before a few times.
The scenery and the moments that lead up to the event may differ some…
But nevertheless the ending never fails to appear.
These “dreams” don’t feel like a typical dream.
The breaking, the chaos, the screams seem so real.
My body shakes as my eyes try to grasp hold of the sight before me.
As it all drops, the sense of hopelessness and fear rush through my veins.
Lord why am I here?
Prayer is all I can turn to as fate seems to near.
But then I instantly wake up, wondering…
Was this a warning or will it be destiny?
Though I wasn’t in control over the events that took place, my heart felt as though it wouldn’t be any different if I was. As I tied my shoes and stood up, I was surprised to look down and see my shoes partially laced. That immediately caught the eye of one of the two cats within the room and it positioned itself to jump at my laces. In its eyes it was just an object that it could play with. That was its instinct. However, I didn’t care to see it that way and in my eyes, the cat and the laces were at this point annoying me. All I wanted to do was get going about my day. And I did not even bother to try and figure out why the cats were there in the first place. Why couldn’t this cat just leave them alone? And how in the world did these laces become undone anyway after I literally just tied them? My shoelaces were not made to be a cat’s toy and last I checked, I knew how to tie shoes. I don’t know what was going on with me that day. Out of habit and frustration, I attacked the cat without thinking. Though it was only going for my laces, I felt as though it was threatening me and my time. An unnecessary reaction I guess you can say. Out of all things to battle today, I choose a cat….a cat.
But I tried to remind myself that it was just a dream. Or was it? Maybe there is a message hiding in the depths of my perception. I don’t even like cats and dreaming about them, along with a random situation like tying my shoes, was far from my average dream. What could it mean? How would these two objects correlate with my life? How do they reflect me? Why did I feel so justified in my actions? Was the cat really my enemy? Or was I my own enemy? Why didn’t my shoelaces stay tied? It is funny how something as simple as trying to tie my shoes turned into this complex puzzle of never-ending questions. Symbolic themes of femininity and preparedness kept coming across my path. Am I not being womanly enough? Do I still have too much of a frisky nature that is preventing those close to me from getting near? Am I less prepared than I realized for what is to come? My God, You and I are going to have a nice long chat because I refuse to leave this to my own interpretation. The most interesting part of it all is how the most simple and random vision of cats and shoelaces came to be a symbolic, yet questionable, reflection of my life. And here I was trying to convince myself that it was just a “dream”.
If love came knocking at your door again, would you let it in this time? If time had an expiration date on it, would you then make use of it? What if you could not get a second chance, would you try harder the first time? What if your options were limited, would you then choose wisely? What if telling that special person how you really feel was easier, would you still hesitate to tell them what they mean to you? How would you change your approach to the situation if you knew the end result before hand? Would your decisions be different if there were no repercussions? If you knew how long you had to wait to get what you asked for, would you then have more patience for it? What if a relationship was predictable, would you then try as hard to fight for it? If God’s purpose for your life did not include hardships, would you still run away from it? If loving someone was simple and did not include heartache, would you be more willing to explore it? If your life did not have an ending, would you still appreciate the true value of living it?
TheKiaraProject 