Tag: responsibility

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Fragile Storyteller

Posted on by KDP

It’s those sporadic mental pauses where my emotions begin to separate from my intuition

In less than one thought, the spiraling effect of disappointment in inevitable imperfection is grasping at my neck

So raw yet potent of an emotion overcomes my spirit and I have become trapped in a space where logic holds no grounding

My eyes start to believe exactly what they want to see. Applying discernment is neglected and mocked all for a little taste of rebellion and apathy

The ambiguity. The opportunity for deception and chaos. One strong grasp is all it would take to leave the burdensome responsibilities of “letting it go”.

No extension of grace. Just dive in with the faults. No more room for the noise yet it always feels welcomed. Knowledge cultivated but not disciplined.

Oh the power. Whoa the fragility. This intense rush of wanting to unleash verbal assaults is numbing the awareness and past mistakes of speaking prematurely

This psychological warfare. The cold embrace. It’s dangerously alluring. Tempting to want to dismiss my identity for the sake of misplaced intentionality

How do I always seem to find my way back to this? It is like the memories enjoy toying with my pride. So far removed from reality at times, forgiving self can only be imagined

Self-preservation from self. So much for reflection. Then again, the continuation of breath must mean something…

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My Partner in Christ

Posted on by KDP

It was your subtle smile and wit that got my attention. Your determination and integrity that grasped my curiosity and made me want you. But there were two distinct qualities you possessed that made me realize how much I needed you. The first is your carefree personality. You don’t hide your true self from others in fear of damaging your reputation. That is the last thing on your mind. Your fun and free spirit cares less about social norms and how others see you and cares more about enjoying what’s around you. You don’t change who you are just because of whom is around you. The other is your ability to forgive and not let situations change your overall love and care for loved ones. Some have disappointed you and some relationships appear more one-sided but regardless you still try to be there for others. You want to be there anyway you can and you genuinely want to make sure your loved ones are okay regardless of what you are going through. Yea you want to throw in the towel at times but you quickly remind yourself of your duty to them.

It was those two things that filled those hollow parts of my heart and they are the things that showed me how God was moving through you. You helped me understand the difference between being responsible for someone and having a responsibility to someone. I honestly thought after all these years there wouldn’t be much you could do to surprise me now but I was wrong. After almost 7 years, and witnessing your journey of pain, happiness, confusion and understanding, I have seen the greater meaning of life through your eyes. When you brought me to the house of God and showed His love to me so effortlessly, I wanted to build my own relationship with Him. I thank the Lord above for you being in my life. Calling you my love, bestfriend, spiritual partner, and teammate, while being able to share these experiences with you, is one of the most beautiful gifts I could ever receive from God.

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Remembering Who I Am

Posted on by KDP

Encouraging, mentoring, and loving are just apart of who I am and what I do. But lately, at times, it seems like I don’t have the energy to keep on giving. Compassion fatigue has been annoyingly knocking at my residence and although it can be very tempting to let it in and complain, I thank God for providing me with the opportunity to help others. It is not easy for everyone to just love I understand that and being able to maintain that momentum isn’t easy, especially when 1) you have your own life to live and a million other things on your plate and 2) the feeling isn’t always returned. Yes, it gets overwhelming at times, but I have a responsibility that I must fulfill. I try to make sure I am not giving so much that I forget to take care of myself during the process which is the reason I keep my Father close. Over the years, I have watched some of the most broken and dark-hearted people become successful individuals as a result of my love. Some of my proudest days are not found in the moments that I helped them or when they accepted my help. My proudest days are when they actually appreciate it and extend that love to others they feel are in need. One of the greatest feelings in the world for me. I understand that serving requires selfless thinking and unconditional love. I guess the purpose of this message is to encourage and remind those who can relate to these moments to remember who you are. It is more than you, it is more than me. It has always been about Him.