The desire for silence can become dangerously tempting in moments where I should be celebrating. In moments where I should be present.
Why do the sounds of certain pleasures feel so intolerable at times? When did this enticing portal of separation become so engulfed in flames of self-alienation?
How do I preserve the foundations of Love without sacrificing this level of comfort I get from the distancing? Surely it is possible to continue with this illusion just a little longer to avoid the potential fear of vulnerability that waits within.
Enough with the banter? It will not be long before shame and guilt start to settle in. Yes, silence is comforting in many ways. However, we both know the dangers of having certain things go my way.
Is the temporary enticement worth it? Is the vulnerability of being present that overwhelming? Or could this be a necessary disruption shown as a reminder that healing is never an endpoint but a journey.
Although my mind has become less settling in some ways, the mi-NOOT awareness of triumph may root itself one day.
TheKiaraProject 